Has Marriage Gone To The Dogs?

Just when you thought marriage was really in trouble in America, in some parts of the world it has literally gone to the dogs.

Call it karma if you like. But Selva Kumar’s past had haunted him long enough. He committed unspeakable acts against two innocent mating dogs. So to atone for his sins, he decided there was really only one thing to do.

Marry a dog.

No. It’s not a joke. Cut the laugh tracks. He really married a dog.

And in India, it’s perfectly OK I guess.

So Kumar married a 10-year-old pooch named Selvi.

Maybe I am not the most culturally tolerant person around, but this story has my name written all over it.

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I Scooby Doooooooooooooooooo!”

Imagine if this family had a Thanksgiving dinner next week. Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall at THAT party?

“Could you pass the Snausages, please?”

“Please don’t scratch at the table.”

“I hear your family has fleas.”

“Are you spayed? You can always adopt at the shelter! How many litters do you plan to have? It’s never too early to save for college! “

“Selvi, you are roughly 53-years-old in human years and Kumar, you are roughly a year old in dog years. How do you possibly think this can work?”

“Please don’t sniff the guests, it isn’t polite.”

“Woof! Woof!”

“Will you be registering at Pet Smart?”

“HONEYMOON?? You’re barking up the wrong tree!”

Hey, I wish them the best. A recent study claims we will be marrying robots in the not too distant future. So why not a dog?

After all, you’re supposed to marry your best friend, right?