Raiders of the Lost Inches!!

Maybe it’s just because I’m focused on the dead Americans in Benghazi and Algeria and the millions giving up looking for work that I am not more concerned about a true American scandal–the Subway sandwich chain apparently short changing people on their “foot” long sandwiches.

The controversy began when a teenager in Australia ordered a foot long sandwich from a Subway in Perth. Before he ate it, he pulled out a tape measure (don’t we all?) and realized it was only 11 inches long!! He was ripped off of an entire inch of sandwich!!

He posted it on Facebook, and of course, a picture of a sandwich got a zillion “Likes” and went viral as they say. Wish my Fan Site could pull THAT off. Maybe I need to post my lunch more often.

Anyway, people all over the place started measuring THEIR foot long sandwiches and what do you know? They measured 11 or 11.5 inches long.

Am I a bad American because I am not energized to join a class action suit? Maybe I and millions of others who have been wronged could recover mucho dinero for all those lost inches!! Think about it? A family my size?? 8 people?? That’s a LOT of lost inches over the years!

The sue happy types probably are already one step ahead of me.

I have an idea for Subway.

Maybe they should DOUBLE the price of the first six inches of sandwich and charge THAT for a true foot long!

In other words, if a six inch sandwich costs $4.00, shouldn’t the foot long cost $8.00??

Well, it doesn’t.

You can get the second half of the sandwich for a fraction of what you paid for the first half.

Why? Because it’s an incentive to get the customer to move a size up on their order.

It’s a tactic used all the time.

Ever notice at the movie theaters when the concession vendors say “A large is twice as big as the medium for twenty five cents more!”

Maybe movie theaters should charge you the higher price for all that extra soda!

You can buy my pencils for $1 each or a dozen for $8. Why? Because it’s great marketing. 

I’ve never gone into the kitchen of a burger joint or restaurant and made them weigh my uncooked burger to PROVE to me it was really a quarter pounder.

I think it would bother me more if they were ripping you off based on the cost of an inch or a pound.

In other words, if Subway said you had to pay by the INCH and, say, each inch was .50, then it should add up. Six inches would be $3.00 and a foot long would be $6.00. Easy math.

Same way if you go to the grocery store and you buy a POUND of apples. If the scale is off, you ARE being ripped off.

But if I am paying for a BURGER with peppers on it, then I don’t really care if during one visit there’s 10 peppers and another visit there’s only 7.

In the first example, I am paying for the WEIGHT of the apples. In the second case, I am paying for the SANDWICH or BURGER as a meal.

Do you count how many onion rings or french fries you get EVERY time you order?? Why not??

Because you are content that as long as the medium is bigger than the small and the large is bigger than all of them, it’s a good day.

If you were charged a uniform price for beer by the ounce, you wouldn’t be able to get a Happy Hour beer for $1 and then spend $12 for the same size beer at a football game.

Does this make sense I hope?

And I’d like to see anyone complaining try to bake hundreds of loaves of bread a day and have them all add up to exactly a FOOT. Try it. Bet you can’t do it.

And some people would complain if it was even a MILLIMETER short of a foot. You know they would.

So for all those people complaining, I hope Subway takes me up on my idea to double the price of the six inch and charge you much more than you currently are now for the “foot” long.

Maybe I should go back and sue the eatery I used to go to all the time growing up.

My favorite was the “Torpedo” sandwich they made famous. But come to think of it, not ONE of those sandwiches was ever shot from the side of a ship directly into my mouth.


See? You can gripe and sue over just about anything.