Don't underestimate for one moment the power and earning potential of those in the business of making pets out to be people.

What a racket that is! Look at all the products aimed at dogs--from seat belts and clothing lines to Prozac and pictures with Santa--that imply they really aren't so different from us.

Now we have a couple that has developed a CD full of songs for Fido. It's actually called "Songs To Make Dogs Happy"!

A walk in the park and a sniff of a lamp post is all the fun MY dog needs. A rubber toy filled with peanut butter can provide HOURS of entertainment.

But a CD?? For DOGS??

I refuse to buy her this, no matter how well she behaves!

I do remember one of my earliest moments messing with an animal's mind. I would bring the neighbor's dog, which they had virtually left for us to take care of, into my room as a kid and play the song "Dogs" from Pink Floyd's 1977 "Animals" album. Although the album is a metaphor to categorize people as either dogs, pigs, or sheep, the song "Dogs" has an instrumental part that has a dog barking in it.

Man, would that play with the doggie's head! HAHA. It would look around and try to see where the other darned dog was! Needless to say, I was an only child with ample ways of keeping myself entertained.

But could it really be that there are songs that you can play for your dog that will soothe man's best friend? COME ON! My dog will fall asleep, scratch itself, bark, whine, or wag it's tail whether I am listening to Elton John or John Gibson. It doesn't matter. It doesn't care.

Why?

Because...it...is...a...DOG!

I'm in the wrong business. Watch. I am going to pioneer a satellite radio channel FOR pets. Not ABOUT pets...FOR pets.

It will be called the Million Dollar Racket Channel!

And maybe, just maybe, you or someone you know will stay glued to it all day long.

Let me know if your pooch likes it, OK?

But if your dog is like mine, she'd rather be a "Brian & The Judge" fan anyway.