Busted By The Fuzz

I got pulled over yesterday.

Yeah, you heard it here first. No point in waiting for the tabloids to make something more of it than it was.

I rolled through a stop sign. Not that there is ever an excuse for this, but there were NO pedestrians or cars anywhere to be found. It’s a new neighborhood and most of the stop signs aren’t even in yet. Plus I was a man on a mission. Again, no excuses. I did something wrong.

So there I was, rolling through the stop sign when a local law man pulls me over. I saw him even as the momentum was pulling me out of my right hand turn.

I did what I have done in the past (the few times I have been pulled over anyway). I actually did the pulling over FOR him. I knew he was coming after me, so I spared him any hardship (although he still felt the need to flash his lights at me).

It was your classic California stop. Not quite RUNNING the stop sign, but not quite stopping either.

“Why did you do that, Sir?” the officer asked.

And I told him the truth. I was in a hurry to get home because my Better Half was having contractions 5 minutes apart and I wanted to get her to the hospital if needed. I was cutting corners to shave off time. I didn’t want to jeopardize her safety or miss the birth of my daughter.

There. It WAS the truth.

And he gave me a break. A BIG one. The last thing I need right now is a ticket.

Although I now feel kind of guilty that he DIDN’T give me a ticket. I never asked him not to. He listened to my answer and decided he would let me off with a warning. I didn’t deserve it, but I got the break anyway.

Now I am stopping a full second beyond what is required at EVERY STOP SIGN. I’m like the smoker who ALMOST had a heart attack. I felt I was given a new chance at life, in a small kind of a way.

Luckily he didn’t see the 27 illegal aliens in the trunk and the meth lab under the hood. Not to mention Michael Vick and the pack of neighborhood dogs in the backseat, none of them wearing seat belts. And was that Larry Craig in the front seat with me?

Just kidding.

There were only 24 illegals.