Somebody Stop Me!

I am mad that I wasn’t detained and questioned at the airport. There, I said it. And it’s true.

My family was in San Diego last week and I joined up with them for a couple of days on Friday. I even mentioned on the air how I suspected that I would be taken aside and questioned because of all of the “circumstances” involving my flight.

Think about it.

Man flying alone. Thirty-something. No luggage. One way ticket to a major American city. Even to MYSELF I sounded like a terrorist!

And yet the airport must not have agreed. No extra questioning (actually no questioning at all). No extra careful body searches. Not even a strange stare from the TSA. NOTHING. My flight was actually less eventful than it NORMALLY be if I were flying with all the kids.

Does that make any sense?? Why did I still see grandmothers going through the extra metal detector wand searches and family types being questioned like it was the Soviet Union? And there was little old me, waltzing through like there was NOTHING suspicious about me!

My incident earlier this year at JFK was already a bit alarming to me. A supervisor talked his employee into letting me on board with a full cologne bottle. Even though this was just after all the talk about liquids on planes being taboo. Even though they NEVER even asked me to squirt some of the alleged OBSESSION NIGHT onto my neck or wrists. How did THEY know what was or wasn’t in the bottle?? They had NO CLUE, and yet they still let me board a fully packed airplane.

Maybe I am one of those lone and strange Americans that actually WANTS the government to check us out more. A normal person would be APPLAUDING the fact that I got through security so quickly and non-eventfully.

This is AMERICA, after all, for goodness sakes!!

But I disagree. I would have felt a whole lot better if somebody had stopped me.

By the way, they didn’t make me turn on ANY of my electronic devices, nor did they check them out. How did they KNOW my iPod was an iPod and not a detonator or device of some kind? I can’t remember the last time they made me turn my laptop on and off, either.

What is going on here??

Plus they let me on board with a pretty good sized plastic knife and fork from the food court. Of course, I had already gone through the security checkpoints so there was no way they could have known.

But I admit as I pulled out my shiny, black, disposable knife to cut my egg roll, it all seemed too easy. Way too easy, indeed.