Even Spider-Man Can’t Make His Marriage Last

It’s hard to believe that is has been 21 years since I purchased the comic book in which Spider-Man (A.K.A. Peter Parker) married his girlfriend Mary Jane Watson.

Fans who only know the relationship from the movies will remember that Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst played the characters on the big screen.

Maguire was only 12 years old when the comic book Spidey tied the knot.

And now, the knot is unraveling. Disappearing, actually. It’s the latest hairbrained plot to keep comic book fans on their toes.

It turns out that one of Spider-Man’s longtime enemies, Mephisto, makes him a bargain he cannot refuse. In order to save his Aunt May’s life, he must erase any and all traces of Spider-Man’s marriage to the love of his life.

That’s right. The Web Head is single again. Ladies rejoice.

Why do writers do stuff like this? They have even killed off SUPERMAN himself in the past, only to quickly bring him back from the dead when they realized what a dumb thing they can done. Recently they killed Captain America, only to bring him back as well in a new form.

So it’s not exactly the story of a superhero getting divorced. But it’s a sad day for Spider-Man fans when one of the genre’s sweetest romances goes back to page one–as if it never happened at all.

Cut my heart out now. Why not just tell me that LOVE STORY was all a dream sequence? Or that Humphrey Bogart was gay while traveling KEY LARGO with Lauren Bacall? Or that no one lives happily ever after?

Not even nerdy photographers who get bit by radioactive spiders.