A Turkey of a Pardon

I was really upset with President Bush when he was so forgiving of Scooter Libby. I thought that was a big mistake.

But there is some other coddling going on that I disapprove of as well–the Presidential pardon for the National Thanksgiving turkey!

Why did President Bush pardon the turkey today? Because he always has. And so have all the other presidents dating back to the tradition’s origins during the Truman administration. He actually saved the necks of TWO turkeys.

Sure, it’s sweet and syrupy and exactly why I DON’T LIKE IT!

These are tough times! We are fighting a diabolical enemy for Pete’s sake! Our kids are too thin skinned! We need to toughen up as a nation!

So the turkey HAS to go. Sorry. It’s Thanksgiving. That’s what we do. We EAT turkeys. We don’t forgive them!

We celebrated our Thanksgiving this past weekend and I thank God that no one pardoned our succulent 22 pound bird.

Admit it. You want a President who will buck tradition, get up there and tell the turkey it has seen its last days.

Ok, ok, so maybe a few children will cry and vegetarians will be outraged. But still. It’s an idea that really should be gobbled up by our future presidents.

The turkeys names, if you care about things like that, are May and Flower. Get it?? MAYFLOWER??

I liked the Vice President’s names better–lunch and dinner.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have a leftover turkey leg just screaming to be put between a couple of slices of bread.

Gobble, gobble!