Of All The Dangers Facing Our Children…Is BARBIE One Of Them?!?!

Most of us are familiar with the old adage “An idle mind is the devil’s playground” and understand that it means a mind that is not focused and committed to some worthwhile purpose will more easily slip down the slope of temptation and vice. Mind is sometimes substituted for “hands” in that saying.

I will go a step further. An idle POLITICIAN’S mind makes the devil’s playground look like a trip to the toy store.

With the advent of every new asinine proposal or law, doesn’t it often seem that politicians have WAY too much time on their hands? Doesn’t it make you wish that most political offices were PART TIME endeavors?

A West Virginia Democratic lawmaker, Jeff Eldridge, proposed a bill to ban the sale of BARBIE, and other dolls like her.

What nerve! And just days before Barbie’s 50th birthday on March 9th!

Oh my. First it was a plea for the government to say out of a woman’s uterus. Now we have to beg the government to stay out of a child’s toy chest.

But, Spencer, you hit the nail right on the head! CHEST is the PROBLEM!!

Don’t you realize how UNREALISTIC Barbie’s measurements are?? And the kind of strain that they put on a little girl’s self esteem??

Yes, I remember a study that found that if Barbie were a real woman, her chest would measure something like 80 inches. Who gets PAID to do studies like THAT??

So Eldreidge merely wants to save young girls the agony of society’s pressure to be thin, buxom, and beautiful.

My oldest daughter was never much into Barbie, per se, and my baby girl is still playing with Cabbage Patch Kids, which thankfully tend to be quite plump and out of shape.

And why go after Barbie dolls over those awful, awful BRATZ dolls. Man I HATE those. They look like street walkers, complete with sultry clothing, big lipstick saturated lips, and plenty of bling for your buck. THOSE dolls disgust me. And it makes me sad that people would even consider those to be good toys for their little girls (or someone ELSE’S little girls) to play with.

But even STILL…I would not propose a law to BAN them.

Wouldn’t it better if parents just started acting like…well…ummm…PARENTS?!?! Use your common sense when buying your children toys. You want to buy your child a doll that looks like she came sent by the local ESCORT service? Knock yourself out. This is America.

Maybe this politico ought to work harder to prevent creepy guys in white vans from pulling up and snagging and hurting our children.

There are many threats to our children today.

And I’m happy to announce that a fully posable, plastic doll who drives a pink Corvette isn’t one of them.