Positive reinforcement is often easier said than done, especially when a parent’s feeling stressed out.
FOX’s Lisa Brady has some tips in this week’s “FOX on Family”:
From toddlers to teens, kids can really test your patience. And sometimes we say the wrong thing.
(Lozano) “That can actually be a learning moment because the parent can always go back and tell the child, you know what, I was wrong, I’m sorry, I got frustrated.”
Licensed professional counselor Rusty Lozano says that’s role modeling how to correct a mistake.
But you can also avoid pitfalls, like telling them not to cry:
(Lozano) “So you’re asking them to bottle up their emotions.”
Or comparing them to a sibling with better behavior:
(Lozano) “What you’re essentially saying is it must mean that I don’t count.”
Instead acknowledge how they’re feeling and move on to problem solving whatever the issue is.
Lozano says it can help to share a similar struggle you’ve had yourself. But let your kids figure things out on their own, too, so they can learn to overcome their own obstacles.
And how often do you say ‘great job’?
(Lozano) “You’re also essentially setting up a child for judgement, did I do okay, and needing the affirmation.”
Try to be more specific; reward the effort.
With FOX on Family, I’m Lisa Brady.
Rusy Lozano is a father of four and founder of the Center for Biofeedback & Behavior Therapy in Texas. Follow him on Twitter: @