A genetic specialist, Dr. Eugene McCarty, claims that humans are a hybrid offspring between a pig and a chimpanzee.
According to him, pigs and humans share similar features like a thick layer of subcutaneous fat, protruding noses and heavy eyelashes - wait a minute - that sounds like my mother-in -law!
So this is what I want to know: If this is true, what did the pig and chimp find attractive in each other in order for the mating to happen?
I hope the chimp was the male because if not... then that's one hairy female!
And why has the mating between the 2 species stopped? Are we a product of just a one night stand?
Are we absolutely sure that it was a pig and a chimp because a pig and frog would have been better - since Miss Piggy and Kermit make such a lovely couple.
And most importantly to me - does that mean I can't eat pork anymore because it'll be considered cannibalism? Maybe I'll just have to serve Clarice the Chianti and the fava beans on its own.
Editors Note: In a previous version we incorrectly labeled Dr. Eugene McCarty as a genetic specialist at the University of Georgia. According to Dr. McCarty's website he was with the department from 1989-2007. He is not currently with the department.