The regular quartet slimmed down to a duet this week. Ben and Tom waxed philosophic on a variety of topics, ranging from the best times to write to the value of premium coffee. As an added treat, some shoutouts to Red Eye Podcast word-of-the-week reviewers.

The title says Johnny, but there’s also some talk of Jimmy in this podcast, as in Jimmy-legs. We’re also repulsed by a discussion of a certain kind of seepage, as well as weather apps and accountants who would be assassins.

This podcast wends its way from third-shift work to Tom’s dreams about fonts to body contouring – and various subjects in-between. It’s a dream-of-semi-consciousness conversation.

To welcome in the new year, the guys end up talking a lot about learning stand up comedy and learning how to drive. Put them together and you’ve got comedy driving school!

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Comedian Dave Smith has some big shoes to fill today. We mean that literally because Ben Kissel is out for this episode.

How do the guys welcome such an esteemed guest? By talking about their Grammy award winning balls of wax, Andy’s inability to sneeze properly, and dispelling myths we’ve held as fact since childhood. We can thank Tom’s very smart daughter for setting the record straight on one long held myth that we continue to spread today.

Don’t let your voice assistant, Alexa Jarvis Cortana OK Google the Third, get in the way of you listening to this awesome podcast with a new secret word.

Oh yeah, the secret word thing… make sure you leave a review on iTunes with the new secret word. If you haven’t yet, hop to it. We’ll read some on the next episode.

The title of this episode notwithstanding, this week’s podcast centers mostly around food and condiments. We guarantee you’ll be left either hungry or revolted. And then there’s that secret word…

The Red Eye podcast is always a learning experience. For example, we learn more about Ben’s coiffing, the “sleep capsule”, a Mayan god whose name sounds like Quantaquiddle, and some rather curious nicknames.

Ben sounds absolutely Lilliputian at the beginning of this podcast. Someone really put the “micro” in his microphone!  Tom’s in a regaling mood, with stories about Kid Rock in concert and his own performance of show tune songs instead of stand up comedy. What’s the best pillow you ask? Andy’s got the answer!  And hey, it goes great with his Tatami mat.

Andy’s out, but you’re in for a treat with this week’s extra-long pre-podcast banter. Once things get going, it’s about mullets, Shake Shack, Ben’s temporary disappearance, showbiz “breakdowns” and more!

Suffice it to say that this week’s podcast recalls the many times things didn’t end well for the animals, most notably the infamous toaster incident.

The podcast pals don’t disappoint with this week’s not-so-private confab.

We learn the history of that heritage soda pop named Moxie. Was Patrick Stewart really the lead in a classic Christmas movie? (No, not that Christmas movie.) Tom didn’t like the TV show Friends! Huh? Hey, while you’re listening to this week’s episode, how about some crab potato chips?

On this week’s podcast:

• Is Staten Island a borough?
• Ben may have known a working girl or two, but the movie? Not so much…
• Speaking of movies, a Willy Wonka prequel? The guys aren’t high on that.
• Tim and Andy have the scoop on virtual reality.
• Are you allowed to eat anything on a smoothie diet?

Today on the big show, where the heck did the word ombudsman come from? And should governors be gubenors?

Ben doesn’t want to hear about any more Beatles talk. The Stones rule!

Today’s money tip: Cashinos!

This podcast begins on a new age note, harking back to the sounds of Kitaro. We then follow a jagged technological timeline into the world of compact discs, 4K TVs and “aeroplane” sounds.

We learn that it’s comforting to remember and relive books from our youth. Somehow this long and winding road brings us to Tom’s party discussions on Milton Friedman, as well as the Dewey Decimal System, Pearl Jam Ten and the excellent chance that we’ll lose listeners from South Boston.

It’s dairy dreams for Ben on this week’s podcast. It must have been scary enough to keep Tom from showing up, but that’s another story.

Speaking of scary, the conversation turned to poltergeists and haunted houses. Could this be the pre-Halloween podcast? Let’s run with that.

It was the Wednesday football wrap-up on the podcast. Tom shared a very important tip for those heading to a chilly stadium for a game.

You down with OPP (Other People’s Podcasts)? We find out what else gets Tom’s ear in the podcast realm.

Plus:

What’s a toothbrush club?

Andy’s gotten himself some Dots.

Are you a polite person, or a good person?

And does Ben know who Boo Radley is?

Today’s Apple event was the launching point of the podcast. Resident geek Andy had to explain the technobabble to Ben and Tom. We’re still not sure they understood.

Tom thinks that words shouldn’t have consequences. As evidence of that, he states the Ben is a milquetoast comedian, while Ben admits (ok, kiddingly, right?) that he does mushrooms before going on stage.

Plus, we learn Tim had a slanket at one time. Oh, snap!

What started out with Tom expressing his fondness for sparkling water quickly morphed into a discussion about light blobs, ceilings, flies and cartoons. Was it something they drank?

Tom was absent with leave for this week’s podcast. Because three’s a crowd, Ben, Andy and Tim were moved into the VW-podcast booth for a conversation in intimate surroundings.

We learn about the hazards of tall people and head trauma. Ben gets clued in on what’s Ska (and it’s not Irish). Do comedians watch comedies in their off time?

Lots of talk about the horror genre and serial killers ensued.

Did they miss Tom? Find out!