How NOT to Kill a Spider

Many of you have already heard my story of my encounter with a 3 inch wide wolf spider in my garage. And of course, the terror it evoked from me.

Well, I bombed the garage with two cans of bug killer spray and haven’t seen a spider since. I am still worried I will run into the darned creature, still alive and more immune and ticked off than ever.

At least spider shrivel up when they are dead, so if I DO find it in this state, it will most likely be a shadow of its former tarantula-like self.

I saw a story in the news that reminded me of the scene in ANNIE HALL where Woody Allen fights off two giant spiders with, of all things, a TENNIS RACKET.

How about what this guy did in England when his wife was frightened by a spider in their house.

IT engineer Chris Welding cornered it in the bathroom and sprayed the pest with an aerosol spray. Ok, fair enough. We’ve all done that at some point, right?

Well to make sure it was dead, he lit a cigarette lighter. Presumably to illuminate behind the toilet.

Presumably…ummm…NOT to blow himself up.

The explosion from the flammable spray being ignited blew the door off its hinges…and Welding off his feet, causing severe burns.

Hey man, we aren’t going after the aliens from WAR OF THE WORLDS. It IS only just a spider, after all.

Sure I bombed my garage over “just a spider”–but even I bought the kind where you don’t have to extinguish your pilot light of your water heater first.

So stick to the non-flammable stuff.

Even a tennis racket would have been preferable.