Parishoners at Relevant Church in Ybor City, Florida are girding their loins for one heck of a challenge --- 30 non-stop days of sex.
Pastor Paul Wirth said he's worried about the number of married couples getting divorced. So he's come up with one heck of a solution. He wants his congregation to have sex for 30 days in a row. (cue the Halellujah Chorus).
The Rev. Wirth didn't explain exactly how that would fix the nation's divorce problem. Although, after 30 consecutive days of doing what comes naturally, it is conceivable that couples could be too darned tired to call an attorney -- much less anything else.
The church's website says people aren't having enough sex and it could lead to problems. Hence, Relevant Church has launched the 30 Day Sex Challenge. They've even launched a blog to help church goers overcome their concerns and write about their journey. Topics range from premature consummation (don't ask) to building stamina. Sweet mercy!
The pastor said couples need to spend more time together. He said kids, jobs, and lots of other stuff can come between a husband and wife. Church members are enthusiastic -- although some are wondering if they've can muster the strength to make it through the challenge. Might I suggest a bowl of Wheaties washed down with a six pack of Red Bull?
As for the single folks, the church has an altogether different challenge. The unmarried are being encouraged to refrain from sex over the next 30 days. I think Josh Hartnett made a movie about that. It seems to me there will be an equal number of frustrated and exhausted church members.
All this talk about having relations doesn't come easy for some church goers. I'm a Southern Baptist. We don't even hold hands during Kum Ba Ya. And I've seen my fair share of preachers who get flustered extolling the virtues of the Virgin Mary.
I'll never forget the day my dad decided to have the "big talk" with me. He walked into my bedroom one Sunday after church, handed me a stack of books and told me to start reading. I was in for quite an afternoon of reading. My dad had gone down to the local bookstore and purchased a four volume set of books called, "How Your Body Works." And it had illustrations.
What an eye-opened day that turned out to be. The author managed to debunk a number of myths, chief among them the theory of the stork. A rather startling photograph on page 32 seemed to indciate that particular method of reproduction was highly improbable.
The next day I brought my treasure trove of classics to school and quickly became the most popular student in fifth grade. I ended up unloading the entire series for ten bucks and a pack of baseball cards.
The Rev. Wirth said the stress of day-to-day living can really put the brakes on a couple's love life. Besides, he said, the Bible talks about sex and within the guidelines of Scripture, it's all good. And there is that passage of Scripture where we are encouraged to be doers of the Word.
Rev. Worth has been married almost 18 years. He told his congregation that he and the Mrs. have a happy parsonage. And like the rest of his flock, Reverend Wirth said he plans to practice what he preaches!
I have a feeling that church may need a larger nursery in about nine months.