My new aortic heart valve isn't bionic, but it's close. It's a piece of graphite about the size of a Susan B. Anthony dollar.
Unfortunately, my valve doesn't come with that retro sound effect, whenever the Bionic Man went into action.
So when I decided to run the New York City Marathon, the first person I called was my cardiologist.
"Are you out of your mind?" he asked.
You know, I've been getting alot of that lately.
He pronounced me physically fit for the race. While he could vouch for the survival of the heart valve, my knees, he suggested, were another story.
The biggest challenge --- my weight.
I'm from the South. I like my tea sweet, my chicken fried and my biscuits buttered. Hence, the problem. About a 300 pound problem. My cardiologist said I had a choice -- lose the weight or meet an untimely demise.
So with great trepidation, I bid farewell to my beloved friends --- the double with cheese, Goo-Goo Clusters, and butter.
Instead, I filled my refrigerator with vegetables, lean meat and bought a membership at the local gym.
So far, I've lost about 110 pounds --- in the past year. And I've done it without spending a dime. Why give Jenny Craig money, when I'm having to do all the work. I figured, I why pay some else to watch my weight, when I can do it for free?
The key --- eating healthy and exercise. I walk or run at least five miles every day.
It's not all that easy and sometimes exercise is a royal pain in the keister.
But as they say, no pain, no gain.
Sunday, I'll find out.