Sep 18, 2012
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A school district in Rhode Island has ended the traditional father-daughter dance because the longtime tradition violated the state’s gender discrimination law.
Judith Lundsten, an assistant school superintendent in Cranston, tells Fox News the move came in response to a complaint from a single mother after her daughter wasn’t allowed to attend a father-daughter dance.
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“The parent felt it was not appropriate and filed a complaint with the ACLU,” she said.
The American Civil Liberties Union sent a letter to the district demanding that all father-daughter and mother-son events be cancelled.
Lundsten said school attorneys found while federal gender discrimination laws exempt such events, Rhode Island’s does not.
“At this point, the law states that we cannot have these gender-specific type activities,” Lundsten told Fox News. “
She said the school district is going to try and work with lawmakers to amend the law – but until that time “We are following the law.”
Lundsten said the ban has caused a bit of controversy in the community.
“The community has a great deal of concern about this issue,” she said. “Certainly I understand that times have changed and people have different feelings about this.”
“I think it’s a shame,” parent Sean Gately told Fox News. “It’s an assault on traditional family values.”
Gately, who is running for state senator, learned of the ban at an open-house for their second-grade son. Another parent noticed the annual father-daughter was not on the calendar.
“For generations we’ve had mother-daughter, father-son events,” he said. “My wife was looking forward to taking our son to the annual mother-son event.”
So Gately decided to start making some telephone calls. He learned that Rhode Island’s law is based on Title IX. That law actually carves out specific exemptions for events like father-daughter dances. However, the Rhode Island general law did not.
And until the law is changed – the dances are banned.
“We do believe that once this happens in Cranston, the ACLU will pursue every other school district in Rhode Island,” he said.
Gately said he’s going to miss those special moments – marked by longstanding memories and pictures.
“Noting made me more satisfied than when I got to pin my daughter’s first corsage on her lapel when she bought a pretty dress,” he said.
“These are important traditions that we have here as a country and as a community,” he added. “The attempt to try and take them away from us is an atrocity.”
But Lundsten said the incident could serve as a learning experience for the community.
“It’s part of having a health debate about our country and how we can do better,” she said.
With reporting from the Associated Press
FOX News Talk
I read this and got angry at first, then something hit me–stop relying on the education system for these monumental events in the lives of your children. The public school system is a failure. Teach your kids family values yourselves. The father/daughter dance isn't about the father and the daughter. It is a social gathering where dad's can talk about sports and daughters can talk about cute boys. Dad, take your daughter out to dinner by herself. Open her car door, treat her like the lady she is. Show her how the man she marries is to take care of her. THAT is more important than anything you'll ever get from the school system.
What's next? Are they going to kick women out of the work force, and the military. No more single or stay at home dads? My wife is in the NAVY, and she is deployed to the most troubled spots on this earth. I am a stay at home dad, and I have to play both roles. We have to take every chance we can get to connect with our children. No matter if it's a dance, baseball, homework, or teaching them how to ride a bike etc. This is outrageous! What are we doing to this great country of ours? If we keep on this path. We're going to be just like the middle east! Completely chaotic!
This is so sad, my daughter now a High School Senior just reminded me of how much fun she had in 2nd grade dancing with me. Where is the father of this child, I am sure if he is available he would love to have the opportunity to bond with his daughter. For those without a dad available, I have seen many Uncles, Grandfathers and Family Friends Step up when Dad was away on business or otherwise unavailable. Too Bad the ACLU hates America!
Crazy crazy world we live in Mike!
Once again the Majority does not have any rights.
OMG! I am so behind the politically correct times. If I had any liberal savy all those years ago, I would have protested father daughter AND mother son events, because I didn't have children and they both left me out altogether. Is it too late to sue someone?
A father died in Iraq fighting for our country. His daughter unable to go to this event. Why would we want to hurt this child after what she has been through. Why would we want to hurt any child when its so easy to make things inclusive by changing the way we do things a tiny bit.
we pay homage to that father, we thank him for his sacrifice so that we may continue (not so much anymore) the freedoms that the constitution gives us. As for the dance the mother can ask a male friend or relative to take her daughter? War and places of war tend to kill people but I am sure the father knew in joining that it might have been a price that might happen. To give respect and most heartfelt emphathy to those families is one thing. But this is about a fd dance that has been a positive thing in our great nation for decades is another. So should we now "change" how we do things a "tiny" bit and cancel fathers day too because not everychild has a father or a father died somewhere? NO we shouldn't
Yes we should "change" how we do things a tiny bit or a lot if necessary. We should evolve and become better human beings particularly if it means keeping a child from harm. Fathers day is not a government sanctioned event so its not relevant. We have a god given obligation to protect all children not just our own.
that may be true and in a perfect world all of us would get along, there would be no wars, children would not be abused or neglected… IN A PERFECT WORLD.. the world isn't perfect, life isn't fair and bad stuff happens to good people. So that is why we should treasure what we have, take care of people that matters to us and stick up for the ones who cannot defend themselves.. the fd dance is not about someone being neglected, it's about taking a dance ritual that means ALOT to this community, it is part of the value that they treasue, in a sense it's almost like a family tradition for them.. so let them keep it, if the mother doesn't like it then don't go. If she wants her daughter to go then find a male figure to take her daughter..there are OPTIONS I am sure but to stifle something to appease a person doesn't really benefit them at all nor the community nor makes the community want to embrace them. and taking the fd away is NOT protecting that child from something harmful for her is it? we all must learn to be pro active member of the human race not a re active "i don't like it so give it to me the way I want it because it won't suit my needs or wants" kind of society. in short..that mother needs to buy a bigger bra and teach her daughter that life isn't fair, and do what she can that is GOOD for her daughter not whine like a baby
A father died in Iraq fighting for our country. His daughter unable to go to this event. Why would we want to hurt this child after what she has been through. Why would we want to hurt any child when its so easy to make things inclusive by changing the way we do things a tiny bit.
my dad passed away when I was 6 and my grandparents lived 1900 miles away. I didn't cry and boo hoo when my sister and I didn't have family members here to do things with. My mom asked our babysitter at the time, who was an older lady, to come with us on grandparents day. She was honored to step in when needed. This lady needs to find a close friend or family member like an uncle or grandfather to accompany her child. SHE IS NOT THE ONLY FATHERLESS CHILD IN AMERICA! SHE NEEDS GET OVER IT! why ruin it for all just because your not a happy person?
We are Americans! If you people don't like this or that or feel that you are being discriminated against then leave! I am tired of the few who dictated to the many. We need to get back to basics.
My Dad was on a remote assignment in the mililtary when our school in Burkburnett, TX had a father/daughter banquet.. I didn't have any relatives in the area, as a lot of military kids, so the superintendent of the schools was my 'father substitute" and he got others to substitute for the other military kids and others girls without dads who didn't have relatives nearby. This happened back in the mid 1950s!
So a little girl can't attend because her father is (A) absent from her life (B) Dead, maybe frighting for your very fredom! I call BS!
Is there another planet anywhere in the universe where it is safe from pathetic stupidity? Because I'd like to move there!
I cannot believe this! No father/daughter dance because 1 person felt slighted? Why did she not simply ask an uncle or family friend bring her? Now, instead of this one person unhappy, we have made hundreds unhappy. What a wonderful solution.
The father is the first "man" in his daughters life, the one that she will compare all others. It is a very special relationship and the ALCU dare's to interfere? What next, get rid of "dog parks" becasue they are cat-insensitive?
The ACLU is simply looking for something to make noise about so they can beat their chest and say they are saving America. I think we would be much better off if there were a law suit against them and make what they do "unconstitutional".
Kids these days that don't have parents…to worried about hurting the kids feelings, (friends) are screwed and that's where the country has gone.
Read the actual letters from the school and the ACLU and get more of the actual story than just the slant. http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2012/09/19/ACLU.%20Letters.pdf
Yeah the ACLU is overly-PC and a joykill but you'll learn from the letter that the parent and the school were both being fairly reasonable and that if the school were to continue to hold inclusive Father-Daughter Dance events like they have before then there would be no issue. They only exclude mothers this one year and actually changed that before the ACLU was even able to get a letter to them.
The school reaffirming that events can't exclude parents or students based on gender is not ruining traditional family values or sending the country down the toilet.
Was this girl really told that she couldn't attend the dance? I keep hearing that she actually went. What is the truth?
Unbelievable- Aren't we the home of the brave and the land of the free? I'm beginning to wonder?
Unbelievable- Aren't we the home of the brave and the land of the free? I'm beginning to wonder?
It is time the "majority rules" part of democracy steps up and makes itself heard. Step one would be to rid ourselves of the ACLU!
How utterly ignorant is this???? If school systems would worry as much about getting rid of ineffective educators and dead-heads in the central offices as much as they concern themselves with traditions like this, the school systems country=wide would be MUCH better off!!!
It is time the "majority rules" part of democracy steps up and makes itself heard. Step one would be to rid ourselves of the ACLU!
BTW, my profile picture was taken at the Daddy/ Daughter dance last year. Do you see my daughters? The beautiful woman in the picture is my wife Susan. She has attended several of the last Daddy Daughter dances. I believe they are called Sweetheart dances now. I don't care what they call it as long as I have some special time with my kids.
We call it ladies choice and my husband went to 13 of them and wouldn't trade that time for anything!!!!!
I can see the mother getting upset because the school should not have told her that she couldn't bring her daughter but at that point you go to the principal and explain how you feel you don't go to the ACLU! The schools are in enough financial turmoil, they don't need to be fighting a court battle over something that could have been resolved in a visit to the office or school department!
BTW, my profile picture was taken at the Daddy/ Daughter dance last year. Do you see my daughters? The beautiful woman in the picture is my wife Susan. She has attended several of the last Daddy Daughter dances. I believe they are called Sweetheart dances now. I don't care what they call it as long as I have some special time with my kids.
This doesn't affect me at all.. but the ACLU and the fucking Yuppie who started these shenanigans should be burn at a stake for being busybodies.. I can not stand people who can't mind their own fucking business.
I mean to say the ACLU rep… meh.. maybe all of them.
If Obama can ignore state law in conflict with federal law why can't this school district? They should have the same rights as anyone else, even if he is the president. In fact Obama chooses to ignore lots of federal laws also (DOMA, for instance). I should be able to ignore federal laws also.
Oh sure – let's put Snooki on full public display drunk and pregnant with a guess at who the father might be – but let's not let our little daughters have a great bonding experience with the father's who actually stay home and teach them how to be treated like a lady – RI law is BOGUS!
This type of action is an example of our culture today! Pornography and glorification of disfunctional behavior while individuals who have no regard for the family can cause this kind of travesty! Time to put a stop to this!
It is time to ban ACLU their values go against the values of the majority of americans.
This is very sad. What's next? Why do we conceed to those few that do not support traditional family values. Don't attend if it offends you, make up your own dance! I commend Sean Gately for taking a stand and I hope he keeps fighting the issue(s).
Everyone must suffer because of one stupid mother. I thought we lived in a democracy. Now what about the rights for all the other kids and their families. I'd love to know her name.
Everyone must suffer because of one stupid mother. I thought we lived in a democracy. Now what about the rights for all the other kids and their families. I'd love to know her name.
In reading these comments, I can't help but wonder why so much vitriol is directed at the school for obeying the law, the ACLU for insisting the school follow the law, and the parent who believes she is standing up for her daughter, and not the legislators who passed this law?
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