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Obama is Selling Yoga Pants and Soy Candles

Having trouble deciding what to get the family for Christmas?

Well, fear not, my fellow Americans — because President Obama has a full online catalog of goodies that are certain to bring happiness and joy to your loved ones.


President Obama’s campaign team has put together a website to remind us what the Yuletide season is truly all about — getting him re-elected. So they’ve decided to offer Americans a collection of special decorations for the “holiday” season.

BarackObama.com was careful to use the word “holiday” — but I suspect these decorations are meant for “Christmas” celebrations.

The campaign is offering a lovely “Rhodium Ball Ornament” with the words “Obama and Biden.” The festive ornament will set you back $40.

“Brighten up your usual holiday decorations with this set of two Obama 2012 glass ornaments,” BarackObama.com declares.

And if you are tired of the aroma of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, President Obama has an environmentally-correct “soy candle” for $20. The campaign says it’s a great way to “light up” this “holiday” season. Again, I believe they are referring to Christmas.

Now let’s face it — between Thanksgiving and Christmas there’s a pretty good chance Americans will put on a few pounds. And we sure don’t want to disappoint the First Lady. So — as they say at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue — Let’s Move!

In what may very well be a first in presidential accessorizing, BarackObama.com is offering President Obama Yoga Pants.

“Whether you’re in yoga class or lazing around on your favorite couch, these exercise pants will keep you comfy and stylish,” the website proclaims.

For you fashionistas out there, President Obama’s yoga pants are made from 95 percent cotton and five percent spandex. I think they’re stretchy.

And BarackObama.com proudly proclaims that his yoga pants are “Made in the USA.”

After your workout, why not relax in your backyard with a refreshing adult beverage poured into your very own President Obama Martini glass? If your order right now, you can get two Martini glasses for only $30.

And don’t worry about messing up your furniture with water stains because the Commander-in-Chief also has a line of glass coasters.

But if you’re sipping a Martini, why not just throw a backyard barbecue?

And President Obama has just what you need — a “Fired Up and Ready to Grill” apron, a six-pack presidential cooler, and a nifty Commander-in-Chief cutting board to chop up your White House veggies.

But wait — there’s more.

Now you can flip those yummy fermented soy burgers with a side of arugula smear in style — with a new Barack Obama spatula.

This versatile spatula has a wooden handle and can scrape off most any surface.

The website has a treasure trove of treats, but my personal favorite is the President Obama Dog Leash.

“Help your dog be the envy of the dog park with a ‘Baracks’ Best Friend’ collar,” the website gushed.

And if Fluffy doesn’t follow the rules, you can always put him on a leash — President Obama is selling one of those, too.

So there you have it folks — everything you need for a Merry Obama Christmas — oops – I meant holiday.

I’m surprised they weren’t selling a Nativity Scene.