First there was male body waxing.
Then, came the guy liner, the “murses” and “manty-hose.”
And if the Lords of Fashion have their way, red-blooded American men will soon be stuffing their hairy feet into pairs of eight-inch bright neon green stiletto ankle boots.
High heels for men are now en vogue, declared The New York Times in a story about men who like to wear ladies shoes.
“I never leave the house with less than eight inches on my feet,” Sean Wagner told the newspaper, referring to his size 11 heels. “I went to a loft party yesterday, and there was a guy in normal shorts, normal tank and really hot red pumps. That’s it! Everyone was like, ‘Oh my God, I love those shoes!’”
But not everyone loves the idea of men dressing up in women’s shoes.
“It’s certainly novel, that’s for sure,” said Garrett Albanesius, who writes a pop culture and lifestyle blog. “But I’m not sure that it works.”
Albanesius suggested that the newest fashion trend to hit the country may in fact – be cross dressing.
“When a man wears women’s clothing – that’s cross dressing,” he said. “I don’t know if you can argue that it’s not cross dressing. What’s the next step – wearing a full-length gown?”
But The New York Times stressed that dudes wearing stilettos is not cross dressing.
“I always make it very clear that I am a man, and I’m not trying to portray an illusion to anybody,” Wagner told the newspaper. “As far as we’re concerned, this is just bringing a look to a club – which is what you are supposed to do.”
But our fashion expert wasn’t quite sure after examining a photograph of two men wearing black leather ankle boots with peep toes (showing off their painted toe-nails).
If the shoe fits, he said…
“The picture of the two guys wearing the heels – they try to defend them saying they look sleek and masculine and not borderline tranny,” he said. “I personally wouldn’t walk around in stilettos, but if someone else wants to strut down Madison Avenue in four-inch heels, then that’s what they want to do,” Albanesius said. “And I’m not one to hold them back.
The Times lamented that America might not be all that tolerant of men in women’s shoes.
“I wish society was more acceptable of men wearing heels,” clothing designer Jeff Paice told the newspaper.
Mr. Paice may have a point. I reached out to the shoe departments at some of the nation’s largest department stores – and let’s just say – the guys down at the lodge aren’t too keen on size 15 heels.
“There’s not been much demand for them down here,” said the shoe lady at the Wal-Mart in Batesville, Mississippi. “Honestly, it would be hard to walk around in them – what with all the red clay.”
And while the men folk of Mississippi might frown on neon green lace-ups, the shoe lady said a camouflage stiletto “could go real big.”
It was pretty much the same story at the Sears in Kansas City.
“We’ve got cowboy boots but no high heels,” the clerk said after a prolonged pause. They also had a wide selection of sensible lady shoes — but nothing for the discerning male shopper.
Maybe I should’ve called Payless.
I’ll bet they carry male pantyhose, too.